Probably, there is no such person in the world who at least once in his life has not experienced parting. Many begin to feel sorry for themselves, seek solace in alcohol, or begin to change partners like gloves.
This period of your life can be greatly facilitated, however, you will have to try a little. First you need to stop doing stupid things. Love will pass, and your life will be ruined. If you find yourself in such a situation, do not spare yourself, but act. Below is a list of recommendations to help you survive the breakup.
10. It’s not a shame to ask for help
Feel free to ask for help from relatives and friends. The first days after the separation are the most difficult, avoid loneliness if possible. Let them take care of you. Do not be afraid to look pathetic, do not make yourself a hero. If you want to cry - cry, but let there be a "vest" next to it. You can search for support online, look for like-minded people, this happens to many people. Those who went through this willingly share their experiences with the “recruits”. You must understand that you are not alone in your grief and ask for help is not ashamed. Nevertheless, one does not need to talk about his misfortune to the whole world, let only close people know about it.
9. Live, don't stop acting
Yes, this happened quite inappropriately, but nothing in life happens on time. Perhaps you need to take an exam, prepare a quarterly report, go on a business trip, but all you want is to lie on the sofa and die. It is advisable to quickly and without pain. Do not stop acting, do not spoil your life due to bad relationships. Otherwise, in addition to your loved one, you will lose your job, diploma. This often happens. People do not think about their life, they are going through this period hard, but as noted above, love will pass. What will you do? You will miss all the opportunities that life has given you. You will have to re-search for work, go to college or retake tests. Stormy activity will help you forget about your misfortune for a while.
8. Ground
Recently, grounding techniques have been very popular. It is a concentration on bodily sensations. Grounding has a beneficial effect on a person, he comes to himself, distracted from heavy thoughts, feels himself in the present moment. There are many different practices in the network, you can choose the one suitable for you. If you do not like to do this, just find yourself an occupation in which you can feel your body as much as possible. It can be a sport, dancing, a bath. Only, during the "session" try to focus on your feelings, and not on thoughts about your difficult fate.
7. This is not your fault.
Most people blame themselves for breaking up. A man thinks that he paid little attention, rarely gave flowers, earned little or did not dress well. The woman accuses herself of preparing a tasteless borsch, recovered by three kilograms, and aged five years. You must understand that you are not to blame for what happened. No need to look for weaknesses in yourself and try to correct them, in the hope that your loved one will return. If he loved you, he would not be embarrassed by rare holidays, terrible borsch and extra pounds. Therefore, stop blaming yourself that the chosen one has left you.
6. Accept your own "stupidity"
Yes, it often happens that we choose the wrong partners. You cannot command the heart, and next to a worthy person is someone who is not. If you fell in love with a womanizer, do not expect him to change. He will always be successful with women and will not give up pleasures. But do not scold yourself for choosing the "wrong" person. Thank him for the minutes, hours, years of happiness that he gave. Let him go and start a new life yourself
5. If you feel bad - do not be afraid
Surely, now you are afraid, you think that you will not be able to endure this pain for another week, month, year. It’s hard, painful, but it won’t always be that way. Leave your fears, do not fight with your feelings, allow yourself to be sad, cry, but not for long. Allow yourself two hours to suffer, and then get up and act. Be honest with yourself, do not entertain yourself with vain hopes that everything will pass soon. Some people require a sufficiently long period of time to forget their chosen one. Only once will such a day come when you wake up and realize that you don’t feel anything else with respect to this person.
4. Know: there are no irreplaceable
Beloved person seems the best, kind, beautiful, smart. You think that you have missed your happiness, but do not forget that this person is not the only one. There are no irreplaceable ones. Perhaps soon fate will give you new love. Then you will be horrified to think that you might not meet this person. You will no longer consider the former the most-most. The veil of love will fall, you will see all the flaws, and believe me, even in the ideal person you can find a lot.
3. Write a list
A good way to survive the breakup is to do introspection. Write a list of positive and negative qualities, make an action plan that will help you change yourself. Maybe you have long wanted to lose weight or dye your hair? Make another list, in which write down all your desires and dreams. Take at least one step every day, get closer to your dream. You are now free, you have a lot of time that you can devote exclusively to yourself. Do not waste it, do something useful. After a while, you will see that you have achieved everything you wanted and you can even cross out the item: “Forget him / her”.
2. Do not try not to think about your former partner
You are trying again and again to drive away thoughts about your loved one, but to no avail. Do not torture yourself, think about him: good, bad. You must survive this period in your life, and not try to deny the problem. The psychology of parting consists of several stages, and so acceptance is the last stage. Only when you accept that you are left alone, that your beloved does not return, then it will become easier for you. Do not forbid yourself to think about it. You can write a letter, just do not try to send it. Describe your feelings, emotions, you can scold your loved one. It is necessary to give vent to your emotions, at least in this way.
1. Go to therapy
Understand that no one else can help you. Go to therapy. For each she has her own. For some, this is communication with friends and acquaintances. Someone with the head goes into creativity, this is the so-called art therapy. If you understand that you can’t do it on your own, the best way out of this situation will be to consult a psychologist. Feel free to contact a specialist. They will help you survive this difficult period. It is not customary in Russia to visit such doctors, but all over the world people use their services quite often. Professional assistance will be provided to you, you can forget about everything, find your calling and solve a number of other psychological problems.